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How to Deal with your Child’s Anger

If you think that only adults have the right to be frustrated or throw tantrums, you are wrong! Children can have occasional meltdowns. Like any other emotion, the child’s anger is also common and is increasing day by day. Some parents fail to understand the difference between anger and aggressiveness. When kids cannot control their anger, it changes into aggression. If a child with anger issues is not dealt with properly, it can lead to behavioral, academic, and mental issues. To avoid these issues, parents should keep an eye on their kid’s activities and mood swings.

Anger Management Issues In Children | NYC Child Psychologist
Source: Manhattan Psychology

Common Reasons of Child’s Anger

To rectify something, you need to know the root cause of it. The same is the case with your child’s anger. Look for the reasons your child is feeling angry.

  • fighting/anger among the family members
  • Hunger, tiredness, sleepiness
  • Either hurt, or they feel helpless.
  • A problem with friends.
  • They are being bullied.
  • Have problems related to studying
  • Puberty/hormonal changes

Physical signs of your Child’s Anger

Your child might shout, scream, or have meltdowns in anger. But some signs show that you should not take your child’s anger lightly. Teach your child the warning signs, and once a child becomes aware of this warning, it will help them control their anger accordingly.

  • Headache
  • Sweating
  • Increased heartbeat
  • Red Eyes
  • Trembling
  • Feeling dizzy
  • Grinding teeth
  • Clenching Jaws
Anger - Family Wellness Project
Source: Parenting N

Let your child express

The parent helps their child to control anger. When they calm down, teach them that it is okay to get angry sometimes, but they need to work on their behavior when angry.  

Due to this, children need a close relationship with someone to share their thoughts, secrets, and emotions with that person. Lacking a close family relationship can make the child feel lonely, and the frustration can lead to anger.

Physical causes

There are few physical reasons for a child’s anger as well, for example, hunger, tiredness, low blood pressure and sugar, and lack of adequate sleep.

Furthermore, anger issues in children often are caused by other mental health conditions as Tourette’s syndrome, autism,  ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder. Sometimes, a child inherits anger, and thus we can say that genetics also plays a key role in a child’s anger.

Model calmness

There is not a manual to deal with your child’s anger. It is something you need to fix with your instincts and calm behavior. Suppose your child has broken something valuable or messed up, accordingly show him the behavior/reaction you expect from him/her. Similarly, instead of worrying about the problems, why not muster up all your efforts towards the solution. You need to talk to your child politely and calmly to set an example for them. If a parent can control their anger, your example is what your child will copy.

Develop a feeling vocabulary

Kids don’t know the words through which they express their anger. Sometimes they don’t know how to vent out their anger or frustration.  Some start kicking, screaming, hitting, throwing things, and even swearing. Teach them which words they should use or how they should express their anger. It is easy to teach them about the words in a normal-routine when they are in a good mood.

20 Ways to Help Your Kid Defuse Their Anger - Q Wunder - Life Skills  Entertainment & Curriculum
Source: Q Wunder

Anger management strategies

There are several anger control strategies you can teach your child. Some of them are as follows, but use the one that works the best for your child. Utilize your parental instinct.

  • Rip paper
  • Popping bubble wrap
  • Squish and splay Playdough
  • Write down what you feel.
  • Get them a stress ball
  • Play fun indoor games with them
  • Jump preferably on the trampoline

Another way to help your child is to teach them to take deep breaths when they feel angry. They can repeat sets of breath to control their anger. Drinking water can also help in controlling your child’s anger. Another formula is to count slowly from 1 to 100. It will keep you calm and quiet.

Parents relationship

Almost one-fourth of kids show aggressive behavior due to their parent’s separation or divorce. This is one of the biggest reasons behind a child’s disturbed or angry behavior, but parents and teachers usually ignore it. Even if there is no other option, co-parenting is your child’s right. This will help him groom his personality and will help him overcome his fears and frustration.

Safe spot

If your child has mental health issues or aggression, you should make sure that the harmful, sharp, heavy things are not in his reach. For example, harmful things like a knife, a vase made of glass, a stick, etc. So take the child to his room or safe place until he gets calm.

Source: NDNR

School-related problems

Sometimes children can feel angry due to the problems they have in school. It can be bullying by schoolmates, diminishing interest in a subject, Understanding your child’s anger, showing empathy, and helping them. Teach them that no one is perfect, but every person is different and perfect in their own way. Parents must play a caregiver role, provide them a tension-free environment, and then prepare them to fight with their anger and school problems.

To deal with kids’ anger, parents need to know the reasons, signs, and tips to control their anger. But, you should remember that anger is a human emotion, and there is nothing wrong with getting angry and feel frustrated. However, the key is that you should know how to deal with a child’s anger. Every child is different, the reason for their anger is different, and the signs they show are different too. Love your child unconditionally and help them get through this phase.

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