As a parent, it is alluring to protect children from failure. But overprotective parenting can cause children to become cranky and rebelling. When parents over pamper their children, it becomes difficult for children to face problems on their own. That’s why it is necessary to let your child make mistakes. Overprotective parenting leads children to become less independent. Even teachers are now encouraged to embrace the mistakes of their children. They depend upon others to solve their issues that cause a learning hindrance in their social, physical, and psychological development.
For a growing child, liberty and a sense of individuality are necessary things. They should have the freedom to make their own choices. The fear of the unknown drives parents to be overprotective toward their children. With this mindset, children can never become able to think on their own. So, let your child make mistakes and learn from the consequences of their choice/action.
Understandably, a child needs to be protected as well as provided with a rein. When parents overprotect their child, he/she become fearful of experimenting and experiencing. This behavior also harms a child’s psychology so, they grow up fearing everything.
Look at the learning that causes when a child and a friend have a disputation. Even though it is unpleasant, but your child gets a chance to reflect on their action, control their emotion, take another’s perspective, and compromise. Contrarily, if you jump into their dispute to resolve their issue, your child will miss out on skill-building that result from learning from mistakes and failures. Moreover, the children that have less chance to make mistakes and learn from failure have low self-confidence and develop self-concept. They become fearful and avoid experimenting with new things as they don’t know how to handle new things.
Benefits of Learning from mistakes:
Every parent wants their child to be happy, healthy, and safe. And yet this is the reason why it is difficult for parents to let their child make a decision, commit mistakes and learn from it. Helicopter parenting might make you feel good and relaxed but, it has counter effects on your child. It works against your child’s mental growth and their ability to make good decisions. Sometimes it is necessary to let your child make mistakes and learn from them.
Parents must learn how to respond when a child commits a mistake or face a failure. Regardless of whether your child loses a game, beaten up by a sibling or friend, got bad scores in academics, or any other unfavorable happening. Your correct response at that time is beneficial for a child’s development. The following are some benefits when you let your child make mistakes.
- Create a sense of reliability:
Sometimes letting your child committing mistakes make them more self-reliable. For example, if your child forgets a homework notebook at home and you bring homework to him every single time he/she forgets it. He is more likely not to learn to rely on his self to remember his assignments. If you bail his negligence every time, he may not discover to be self-reliant.
- Builds Confidence:
Confidence means to have faith in yourself. No doubt, every parent wants their child to be confident enough. Self-confidence also comes from accomplishment, when your child makes mistakes and learn from them. When a child commits something and fails at it, then figure out how to do it correctly, they get a feeling of accomplishment and become more self-confident.
Parents should be careful to keep a balance between pointing out their success too. If they are only highlighting their mistakes and not appreciating their success, children are more likely to have lower self-esteem.
- Reduces Anxiety:
A child cannot learn or get success in life until you let your child make mistakes. The more you make mistakes, the more you learn from them. In addition to learning, making mistakes, and getting skills bring happiness. It also reduces the chance of anxiety issues later in life that can ultimately take away happiness from life.
If you tell your child that it’s not OK to make mistakes, then they are more likely to hide their failures from you. They think that it is shameful to get failed. It can lead to anxiety disorder in your child. In return, they are less likely to share their problems with you.
- Creates the ability to face Consequences:
The consequences of mistakes are not so pleasant but, your child should go through it and learn. The over-protected children will never understand that they can do something wrong. We all need to make mistakes and learn from the consequences. So, we do not repeat the same mistake.
This behavior will give your child a life lesson, as they learn how to recover from failures and may overcome the problem differently in the future.
- Increase self-flexibility:
When you let your child makes mistakes, they become able to tolerate stress. In this way, they can also develop their coping tools to deal with the situations. In this way, they become more adaptable to the negative or unfavorable consequences. This thing makes them a stronger person.
- Learn to Handle disappointments:
When your child gets failed, this increases their practice to cope up with stress and disappointments. Whether it is in the form of a skinned knee, bad grades, a dispute with friends or siblings, or feeling disappointed. Let your child make mistakes will make your child able to manage and deal with consequences in a better manner.
So, when your child gets upset at something, by the time they are learning more adaptive ways about how to handle, avoid, and better deal with it.While your child had faced and overcame hard knocks, they learn that failure is not pleasurable, but it’s not the end of the world. They get wind to stand up and try again.
- Improves Decision-making skill:
Let your child make mistakes, as it teaches them to make decisions and overcome a situation. They might make wrong decisions, but this will help them learn from the consequences.
By providing them practical examples and letting them practice by making decisions will improve their learning habit.
How to Convey the right message to your child:
Your child must learn that failure is not a scale for their ability and intelligence. Parents should follow the following strategies to respond to their child’s setbacks.
- Look at your child’s reaction:
Take a clue from your child’s response to the loss. Are they happy about giving their best? Are they angry or disappointed with themselves? Or they are being negative or blaming themselves. If they are doing so, you should channel them to try hard next time. Appreciate their efforts and part of the success to encourage them.
- Divert their attention toward the future:
Instead of grieving over the failure, it is better to attract your child’s attention toward the future. Encourage them, teach them to learn from mistakes and move on. Let your child make mistakes, and remind them that their failure was just a step toward success.
- Be motivating:
If your child has committed a mistake, don’t be rude, harsh, or angry. Motivate them by giving useful bits of advice. Try to speak to them in a warm and relaxed manner. This behavior will improve their confidence and encourage them to perform better in the future.
- Emphasize the process:
Try to talk about their experience during the process, try to know what they like and where they mistook. What did they learn from the process? Try to channel your child’s energy into strategizing for the future instead of regretting mistakes.
- Abstain to Give them pity:
Desist yourself from giving pity to your child as it leaves a harmful message in their mind. They might think that they aren’t capable of doing that and get discouraged. Instead of saying that You are sorry about it, try to acknowledge where they did wrong or where improvement is required.
- Try to amuse your child:
Do something that your child loves to do to boost their confidence. Taking a break from the current problem may help them in making new strategies to tackle up and do better next time. It will refresh their mind and deliver a positive vibe from your side.
- Don’t jump to Fix:
Let your child sort out issues themselves. It will help them in improving and learning life skills. Show them ways to fix the things but don’t do it for them.
- Express your love and support:
Reassure your child that they always have your support. Remind your child of your unshakable love. Let them realize that their failures or mistakes don’t influence your love for them. Make sure to express your love and support toward them, make them realize that they can rely on you, and be confined in you.
How your response affects your child:
When you let your child make mistakes, keep in mind that your appropriate response is necessary for their development. As your response in a situation can have long-lasting effects on your child’s brain. Researchers at Stanford proved that your good or bad reaction affects your child’s view on his intelligence and influences his future.